[QUOTE=Rob Galanakis;11528]
Amorano: Regarding your first post, I agree and I think the creed already reflects that. I really don’t feel it’s defensive towards content at all. I changed the second ‘give’ to ‘provide’, as I think you’re right on with your analysis of the feelings of the words and it works better to have provide in the more positive second line of that couplet. Also I am not keen on adding back in a replacement for the ‘plan b’ line- there’s already quite a good focus on wide-reaching production and community issues, especially with the new lines in verse 2. But as always, tell me if you disagree.[/QUOTE]
I think my first post was a little jump the gun, I didn’t realize the thread had 4 more pages so it was a first read for me and quick fire back.
It is plainly obvious that is not the direction this went =)
I like the polish. I completely understand the spirit of that line is in there, especially, as you pointed out, the meat of the second stanza.
As for that stanza #2, trying to bring it back around to 6 lines - The 2nd & 3rd line seem like they “could” become one:
“I will approach every colleague, peer and problem with my ears and mind open.”
Though I don’t fully love the verbiage, perhaps even tighter grouping of colleague/peer ? == person?
“I will approach every person and problem with my ears and mind open.”
I am going to say the extension to person would make it slightly more “humble” in some sense, as that would imply this is not merely a creed for work-habits, but life. Ok, maybe I am being a little ostentatious with that idea.
That line reminds me of the Bene Jesuit matra from Dune for some reason.
AND, so… the last line of that same stanza just doesn’t feel powerful enough. I do my job (hopefully!) to raise up those artists even more to make a kick ass product.
Perhaps more along the lines of…
“I will do my job to strengthen those with talent.” ??
Spit-balling here.
The first line fo each, “I am a Tech Artist”, is the goal to provide brevity there?
I only ask because, I wouldn’t say something like “I am a soft programmer” or “I am pipe engineer” when describing myself; the eyebrows for those two statements are already raising =)
Just wondering if the full Technical Artist is too much, or if there is some other rationale for it.
Cheers.